Sunday, September 29, 2013

Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me by Ian Cron

I received this book in exchange for a review from, a division of ThomasNelson Publishers. (I also just found out that even though it's only been 75 days since receiving this book, my account has been suspended. But that is okay, as I have plenty of other books I really need to read.)

My main reason for choosing this book at first was it sounded intriguing and as much as I love a deep theological treatise, I needed a story. However, as I read on I was gripped by the author's quest for an identity. As I have dealt with this so much in the past, and even now, that alone grabbed me. There were two things I especially loved about his story. The first I don't know if it was even intentional comparison or not. He is describing going to a "revival" meeting, where a very eloquent Harvard professor was preaching. In that meeting, he heard a still, small voice speak to him. This made me think of when Elijah was in the desert and God was not in the wind, earthquake or fire, but in a gentle whisper. In this I was reminded once more that I need less noise in my life if I'm going to hear the directions God wants to give me.

The second part I really liked was when he was talking about when he started having high anxiety, even to the point of panic attacks. This may seem cruel for me to like that, but it was the reason he discovered he was having them. According to his psychiatrist, it was due to having too many high stress events in a relatively short (1-2 year) period of time, as well as from shoving his emotions for most of his life. The reason I liked this was because I too have been having a lot of anxiety in the past few months. A few times it has got to the point where I'll be explaining something to a customer and I will start hyperventilating, even if it's not an escalated call. This explanation from his psychiatrist completely resounded with me. In the past two years, Casey and I became parents overnight, graduated college, I have started two different jobs, we finalized the adoption, and we moved (among many other stress inducing things.) On top of that, growing up I never fully knew how to express my emotions, and thus I stuffed them. Similarly to the author, I have come to the point, especially with Casey's help, where I have started to attempt to let my emotions out. Unfortunately for the author and I, they're trying to all come out at once. 

In all, I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I would definitely recommend it, especially if you are in need of a raw personal story. However! I must warn you that there are a few mentions of testicles, balls, and I think something else that shocked me that was in a book printed by Thomas Nelson.

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